Friday, April 24, 2009
"What We Talk About When We Talk About Love"
I am asked all the time what I love by my wife and am never truly able to answer because she does not really want to her the answer. That goes for about 90% of the people that ask such a deep question. I have learned in my psychology and other experiences in life that people think about weird things and all are a little wacky. Some just hide the truth better than others. While someone might argue that there definition of love is the right one, like in the story “What We Talk About When We Talk About Love” by Raymond Carver. For example, Mel says love is not when a person is abused by somebody and Terri argues that it is. She had experienced this so called love by an ex-boyfriend and does not want to look like a fool for being with him and taking the abuse. So she says that he loved her in a different way. The example might be hard to follow so let me attempt to clear it up. No body wants to look stupid or be made fun of because of their weird, sick, odd, or whatever they think people might perceive their love for something is. The thing is that there is a lot of people in the world we the same loves. They too are just afraid to say it because society does not except it. No matter how hard people try or how good someone is, everybody tells lies. This might be a little off the subject but kind of in the same ballpark.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
So after reading this story, were you then able to answer the question? It can be difficult to answer a question of that magnitude at times. First things that come to my mind are family, friends, and hobbies. Too add to that, people sometimes do have to tell lies. Its like the saying "better left untold". The truth is, a little white lie can ultimately be the best for everyone at times. Most people say that relationships are based on lies, such as saying "those jeans make you look thin honey", "yes i would love to go shopping with you", if you catch my drift.
ReplyDeleteThose little lies you allude to seem pretty gendered to me. Are you suggesting that in relationships men are the ones who rely upon those "little white lies?" If so, why do you think this is?
ReplyDeleteI was relating it to Erick's situation because he is in fact a guy.
ReplyDeleteThe lies I was referring to are much deeper than she looks good in those jeans. I am referring to the desires one might have. I am also talking about the secret and untellable things that people are into. NOT necessarily sex! See look I can’t even be clear about what I mean without giving a personal example that I am not willing to give because of the way someone might take it. It just goes to show that even a little white lie cannot do justice in certain situations. People just have to go out on a limb sometimes and just risk felling like a fool or be seen as weird to find out if anybody feels the same way. This is why I think that social networks are so popular. People experiment with telling their secrets and searching for the things that they are into and hoping that other people have given in and let their secrets out. The Internet will end up changing the way people write and what we consider literature. See once again I got off subject. I just remember last semester in English we looked at social networks. By the way both genders tell the lies.
ReplyDeleteI wasn't suggesting that only males lie (in any way). I was just pointing out the examples Cory used were pretty gendered and wondering if that was because he was speaking from his subject position as a male or if he was suggesting something larger.
ReplyDelete